Seven of My Favorite Images of Psychotherapy & Growth
Robin B. Zeiger, Ph.D.
I am grateful for images. To me, good images are worth a thousand words. I am a Jungian psychoanalyst, a sandplay therapist, and writer. Thus, I work and thrive in the world of myths, art, and creativity. That which is beyond words is often pregnant with symbolic meaning. With these gifts, my personal and professional life is forever enhanced. I want to share some of my favorite images and symbols the reflect my way of practicing of psychotherapy and self-growth.
1. THE INTERWOVEN TWIGS: AN IMAGE OF THE MIXED-UP & KNOTTED-UP STUFF OF LIFE
Have you ever tried to untangle or unknot a ball of yarn? Or worse yet, untangle a mixture of strings or thread from different spools? This is a bit like the beginnings of psychotherapy. Deep work of the soul often begins with confusion and a mixed up “mess” of too much stuff. Sometimes the words allude us. Sometimes there are no good words. And sometimes there is a flood of words, problems, emotions, and images all mixed up like this knotted collection of string.
I love the “Dollar Store.” When I was a child, I remember it as the “Dime Store.” Several years ago, I discovered an inexpensive collection of decorative items from nature. Many of the treasured ones found their way to my psychotherapy space. One of my favorites is a round figure of interwoven twigs.
Why this and not the ball of knotted up yarn? This piece is simple and connected to the beauty of nature. The simplicity and beauty offer hope for a future. As I hold it in my hand, it is a reminder to be persistent and patient. I attempt to gift the fellow seeker in my office patience and belief in our capacity to unknot the “mess of stuff together.” And often when we look back at the end of a journey, this is exactly what we have accomplished. Once things are sorted and unknotted, it is much easier to decide what to keep, what to throw away, and what to transform into a new form.
2. MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL…
Mirrors are deeply important to all of us both figuratively and symbolically. We check our appearance, and with it, often discern the smallest of things that we like and don’t like. Sometimes we see clearly. Sometimes, we are faced with a mirror that distorts and only focuses on the negative. At times, we find ourselves in front of an old antique mirror.
Like the Mirror of Erised in Harry Potter, sometimes we see the deepest and most desperate desires of our heart.
One of the earliest necessary experiences of “mothering” a baby and young child is the mirroring of the other. When Mom or Dad reflects back the baby’s distress or happiness or fear, the child learns about her own internal experiences. Likewise, the young child gradually pairs words and expressions with unique internal and physiological responses. No parent is perfect. Nor is perfect parenting/mirroring necessary or needed. Some mirroring is better than others. Unfortunately, sometimes the parent sees him or herself too often in the child and the “mirroring” becomes the pieces of the parent’s story. And sometimes, even with good mirroring, one arrives in psychotherapy desperately needing this experience again to meet the pain of trauma.
When we are deeply hurt or hurting, it can become too difficult to look at oneself in the mirror. It is too painful to introspect alone. That is why we seek out the eyes and ears of a trusted psychotherapist. Therapy, like this good early mothering, offers needed reflection to the adult in the room. The beginnings of therapy are forged in an experience of being seen, heard, and understood. And together, in partnership, we can look at the what is really scary from deep inside. From here, the real work can begin, with insight and healing along the way.
3. BROKENNESS
When I trained as a sandplay therapist, my esteemed teacher and guide taught me something very important; to keep broken items in my collection of miniatures. One of the most used ones has been a wedding couple in which one member lost his head. We are all broken and wounded. This is the human condition. Jung used the Greek myth of Chiron as a fitting image for the necessity of analyst as wounded healer. The patient must meet his wounded side. And in order to create this possibility in the therapeutic process, the therapist must be able to access her own wounds to meet the wounds of the other.
Sometimes, we all become very frightened of brokenness. Yet, akin to the forces of Mother Nature, there is the necessity for destruction, brokenness, and even symbolic death before rebirth and rebuilding.
Again, and again, I am fascinated to note this process played out in dreams of the night. Scenes of death and destruction often proceed the birth of a baby or young child. Many times, these scary scenes frighten the dreamer. S/he assumes the worst and relates to the dream as some concrete premonition of some real-life horrific event. Yet, the analyst has been there before and here, becomes the escort, often offering symbolic meaning to this frightening event. And from here the work continues.
4. THE WALL OF THE OTHER
I ascribe to one very important therapeutic motto, “If we are just nice to each other in the room, nothing much is happening.”
I often find myself echoing this statement very early on in the therapy relationship. Too often we grow up learning to be a “good girl” or a “good boy” and just being nice. Or perhaps we sit on feelings for a long time, allowing the anger and resentment of misunderstanding to build up until it is too much to contain.
Therapy is a relationship like no other. It must be forged in honesty and genuineness. It is important that there is freedom to challenge one another. Therapy ideally provides continual feedback to both the therapist and patient on how we come across to one another. It is akin to using a magnifying glass to discover the wonders of the small garden plot outside your abode. I would venture to say that no other relationship is this honest and reparative. Together therapist and patient create their own shared language of understanding. Too often, the young and wounded child within us unconsciously wishes for perfect and magical mothering. From deep inside, we long for flawless understanding from cherished others, whether it be a partner, friend, or parent. This magical desire often emerges once again in therapy.
For the first time, the brave journeyer in my office is able to see herself in real time. It is in these moments that a relationship is forged with Self and Other. However, we are all human and there are no perfect “mothers” or “fathers” or “analysts.” This is where scrupulous honesty, careful gaze, and hard work comes into play. In the bumping up against the wall of the other, real transformation occurs not only for the patient. The therapist’s life is also, touched and enriched by the other. And this too, is empowering for the patient.
5. INTO THE DEPTHS
Water is often seen and experienced as a portal to the unconscious. In the depths, we meet our fears, our hopes, our dreams, and our creativity. Sometimes water is gentle and flowing and soothes us. Sometimes we feel caressed and held by the waters of the bath or the jacuzzi or the pool. There are those moments when we become playful and jump over the waves. And then there are those moments when water can become dangerous; potentially injuring, swallowing, flooding, or drowning.
Images, symbols, and stories of water often make their way into the therapy room. Water that is both gentle and frightening appears in our active dream life. And every time we use a saying like, “This is too deep for me,” we are caught up in the symbol.
To do the work, we must dare to delve into the unconscious. We must dare to sometimes place our toes in the freezing waters and at other times to dive into the deep end. There is those moments we must take out the umbrella to must protect ourselves from the pouring rain. And then there are those crucial moments of mindfulness when we must make the choice to sit quietly next to a babbling brook and contemplate.
As an analyst, I hold in great respect the power of the unconscious to enrich our lives, but also to throw us, flood us, or even destroy us. At times, the therapist must take on the role of lifeguard or a swim coach. Perhaps, most of all, it is important that the therapist has navigated these waters before; recognizing the gifts and the dangers, as well as some of the paths.
6. TREASURE IN THE MUD
When we enter a therapeutic relationship, we may become strengthened and enamored by all of the good and the light. With a sigh of relief, one can finally settle into a safe place. The supportive listening ear of the therapist is wonderful. For the first time, perhaps the psychotherapy journeyer is able to grasp onto the good and the moral inside. Yet, it can become too easy to get stuck there. The dreams of the night often bespeak of the other side; the scary and angry pieces of the world inside and outside of us. We must delve into the shadows of life. Without the shadows, we are living half an existence. And the monsters in the shadows may rise up and capture us against our will.
Here, one of my favorite images is of the treasure in the mud. Pirates bury their treasures. Sometimes the most precious of items must be hidden away in a cave. Archeologists recognize the potential power of digging and sifting in the mud and sand and caves. It is crucial that we plod, trod, and slog through the mud. In good psychotherapy, the therapist is there with you. He may serve as a guide or an escort. She may provide a lantern in the dark. There is a treasure chest with gold at the end of the storm and at the foot of the rainbow.
And of course, the beautiful lotus flower only grows in the mud!
7. TWO HANDS
The saying, “Give me a hand,” is used again and again seemingly without much consciousness. Yet, perhaps this is one of the most powerful images of the therapeutic relationship. Some therapists, from time to time provide a concrete hand as a sign of care in difficult moments. Others prefer to rely upon the “symbolic hand.” Yet, there are those times when the therapeutic journeyer must experience this image. Perhaps it is when one is stuck in the mud. Perhaps it is when one meets their real trauma with pain and sobbing. Perhaps it is when the wounded child enters the room for the first time. And sometimes it is the hand of applause and wonderment.
Thanks to unsplash.com & Nicolas Ramirez — Lima, Perú -
Psychotherapy is not simple. It is a hero’s and heroine’s journey. There are wonderful moments of connection with Self and Other. Yet, our work of the psyche and soul involves reaching into the depths of the unconscious and suffering. It involves becoming dirty within the mud. However, for many of us, the treasure that is unearthed is well worth the struggle.
Robin B. Zeiger is a practicing Jungian psychoanalyst and a free-lance writer.
She is a member of the:
International Association of Analytical Psychology and the Israel Institute of Jungian Psychology. She can be reached at rbzeiger@yahoo.com.
