Winding Roads and Timeless Bonds: A Father’s Presence in My Adolescence
Robin B. Zeiger, Ph.D.
When I think of my teen years, I think of my father and our leisurely car drives. The route I most remember, and value is driving the winding roads of Chicago’s lakeshore that led through Evanston and the far suburbs.
Many moons later, I live far-away across the continents, but in my mind’s eye, I can still image the route graced with stately houses, lakeside parks, and the occasional quaint little gift shop or candy store.
I remember the Grosse Point Lighthouse of Evanston, my first childhood introduction to the importance of this beacon of direction and hope.
The cadence of the movement alongside the beautiful lakeside route led to a peace and a longing that is beyond words. Perhaps, it is only now that I truly understand the holiness of this space and time in my father’s car.
I find myself reflecting upon the Jungian concept of “temenos”. Temenos is a word Carl Jung borrowed from the ancient Greek. It is a sacred boundary; a piece of land separated from the mundane space to create a holy sanctuary. Jung used this colorful word and concept to refer to the space and relationship that is created in depth psychotherapy. The beginnings of temenos are carved out via boundaries, walls, and separation, such as the four walls of the therapist’s office. Yet the temenos that is created accompanies us beyond the concrete to a felt senses of “holy relationship” in our inner and outer world.
Adolescence is not simple for most of us, as we confront growing independence challenged by hormones, the changing of our bodies, peer pressure and the vicissitudes of dating, sudden recognition of the sexual urges, and the need to break free of our childhood past. These trips took on added importance during these tumultuous years.
I don’t remember much of what I discussed with my father, except for one deeply important conversation. My adolescence was marked by my need to find meaning in the world. One day I asked my father how he knows there is a God. He answered me, “When you were born and I held you for the first time, I knew there was a God.”
This was no simple question. I knew that my father struggled with a God that “allowed” a Holocaust of his people. I knew that he believed it is possible to be upset at God, while also praying to the Creator. A close and important relationship can withstand angst and conflict. To this day, more than twenty years after my father passed on from this world, his simple words bless my heart and soul.
My meanderings with my father in so many ways in my life. I like to hope I bring this experience into my interactions with my children, grandchildren and my psychotherapy patients. I think my father and I created something bigger than ourselves. In Jungian psychology we like to talk of the Archetypal presence that accompanies us in life. The Great Fathers and the Wise Old Men are important escorts from within and from the power of the Cosmos. Perhaps we invited these forces to join us on our rides. I suspect that this blessed energy helps pass on the torch of HOPE IN A NEW FUTURE.
Please follow me and discover articles on. something from nothing, mindfulness, finding peace in difficult times, Jung, longing and the Little Prince, Black Lives Matter, Amanda Gorman’s poetry and childhood nostalgia such as ice-cream trucks. One of my favorites is Dark Feet & Dark Wings: Wendell Berry’s Wisdom for Difficult Times.
Robin B. Zeiger is a practicing Jungian psychoanalyst, a certified Sandplay therapist, and a free-lance writer.
She is a member of the:
International Association of Analytical Psychology the Israel Institute of Jungian Psychology and president of the Israel Therapists Sandplay Association. She can be reached at rbzeiger@yahoo.com.
